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"Yellow
moons, pink hearts, green clovers and WHITE SHARKS! It's magically
delicious "
Padraig Harrington - 2008 Inductee |
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"I've
never liked the arrogant Aussie... and always thought he was a tad
overrated. He showed his true colors sixteen years ago at a cocktail
party when he tried to put the blocks to Fannie. The spineless cur
just couldn't take no for an answer."
Nick Faldo - The Greatest Shark Hunter of them all |
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"Twenty
years ago we had every right to think this choking carp would carry
my torch. Instead, he has become immortalized at the greatest bed
crapper in the history of golf."
Jack Nicklaus - Ohio State Alum and All-Time Coolest Links Dude |
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"I
came up for air and there he was with a damn fool look on his face,
like he couldn't fathom that Larry Mize had just holed out to win
the Masters."
Larry Mize - Who wears a green jacket |
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"The
funny thing is, I couldn't beat Czabe for a six pack of Blatz."
Bob Tway - All-Time Stiff, with a Major courtesy of the Shark.
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"That
towel stuff was just an act. I knew the Shark would fold like a shot
mallard during the playoff. Pump, boom, dead duck."
Fuzzy Zoeller - Who smokes butts and wears a green jacket |
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"He
was my meat."
Ben Crenshaw - Buttsmoker, Texan, Shark-Killer |
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 |
"After
[the Open] I offered to fly him back to Florida in my plane. He got
a wild eye in him and quickly said yes. I thought better of flying
alone with Greg less than two hours after whipping him, so I ditched
him in the clubhouse shower. Last I saw him he was chasing Fannie
around the locker room, snapping her bum with a USGA issue towel.
Whatta sight, I mean seeing Fannie nude. I thought someone had let
Billy Casper in the clubhouse to take a shower and then I realized
it was her. I couldn't get outta there fast enough."
Ray Floyd - A fierce competitor and Advil endorser |
| |
 |
"Holing
out to force the playoff, and then kicking his ass is a memory I'll
cherish forever."
Mark Calcavecchia - 'nother Cool Links Dude |
| |
 |
"I
damn near went to a Cubs game that Sunday, but read in the paper that
Greg was in the lead. I figured what the hey, I might be able to win
this thing."
Russ Cochran - Another lefty with an equally hot wife |
| |
 |
"I
kicked him around like my neighbor's dog then challenged him to a
fistfight. He ran faster than a pair of Courtney (I have more balls
than Davis) Love's nylons."
Billy Andrade - The Pride of Rhode Island and friend of Fax Bradson |
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 |
"Greg
is a choking chum sucker. Spongebob could whoop his ass."
Paul Azinger - Calls it like he sees it |
| |
 |
"There's
something about this old course that frightens the Shark... Perhaps
it's too close to the ocean?"
Corey Pavin - Overrated, girlieman golfer after his one and only major
win |
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 |
"Son,
that Norman boy sucks like the Parker twins."
Jim Gallagher Jr. - PGA Hick |
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 |
"El
pescado guvacho es grande joto."
Robert Gamez - NAFTA Supporter and bilingual tour pro. We hear "quatro"
from his caddy often |
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