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The
Offbeats existed from summer 1981 to fall 1987. We began
as a mix of pop, punk, and hardcore (or simply "thrash
pop," as some 'zines called our music). Later the sound
became more of a loose (i.e drunken) form of punk rock
'n roll. Along the way there were a few record releases
and a whole lot of personnel changes, making our history
a rather convoluted affair. I wouldn't blame anyone
for skipping the remainder of this bio, but for the
rest of you, what follows is a chronological list of
some stuff that happened.
1981:
Tom "Tommy Hawk" Miller (that's me) and Bob Richey of
the recently disbanded GENERICS began rehearsing with
Larry "Keith/Lair Matic" Lewis. Larry was previously
guitarist and vocalist with the AK-47'S and BRONCS.
He wrote a lot of songs and was a much better guitarist
than I was at the time. John Lovsin was also hired to
play bass on a temporary basis.
The first gig was is in September, a benefit for CLE
MAGAZINE at the Pop Shop. The name Offbeats was chosen
a week prior to the show--simply because we needed to
call ourselves something. Also in the band at this point
was a female keyboard player whose name escapes me.
At the show, Bob told the sound guy to "take her out
of the mix" because her keyboard sounded like a doorbell.
She quit shortly after this, or was asked to leave,
it doesn't matter which. Moments later we went to Cave
Studio and recorded Larry's song "Lost in Rome," John's
"Key of E," and one of mine, "Ned." The first two ended
up on the CLEVELAND CONFIDENTIAL LP (Terminal Records)
billed as solo recordings by John and Larry. "Ned" is
unreleased; as far as I know, there are no copies of
this tape in existence (which may not be such a bad
thing). The Offbeats song on CLE CONFIDENTIAL, "I'm
Confused," is actually an old GENERICS recording.
In November when John quit to join the military, we
played several shows as a three piece, with myself and
Larry switching off on guitar and bass.
1982: In January I asked my friend Scott Vocca to play
bass. Scott was a banjo picker, not a bassist. Although
he quickly became a good bass player, I now wish we
would have also done some recordings with him actually
playing banjo too. Most of my great ideas have always
been in hindsight. Around this time I wrote a bunch
of new songs, most of them fast thrash numbers. This
was at odds with Larry's more "pop" approach. Understandably
his interest began to wane.
In the spring we recorded 5 songs; these ended up on
THIS TAPE SUCKS and SHED YOUR PRIDE, two low grade tape
comps put out by yours truly. Also that spring, Scott
and I met Tom Strange and Jimi Imij from Kent hardcore
band ZERO DEFEX. One night we got drunk with them and
at some point in the evening, Scott and I got the brilliant
idea--egged on by Strange and Imij--to shave our heads.
Talk about a BAD hangover the next day...
We continued to play shows, slowly gaining a following
in N.E. Ohio's tiny hardcore scene. After one of them,
at the Bank in Akron, Larry quit. Almost immediately
we also kicked Bob out of the group for skipping practices.
He was also playing in the re-formed PAGANS at the time.
Of course, drummers that want to play punk rock in Cleveland
circa 1982 were a rarity--and Bob was a great drummer--so
since we couldn't replace him, we decided to break up.
I joined a band called AGITATED, named after an Electric
Eels song. Scott got married and conceived a child.
In October Scott and I recorded some songs with Sean
Saley from STARVATION ARMY on drums (Sean learned these
songs by air drumming to an old practice tape). To date
none of these recordings have ever been released. This,
however, inspired us to re-form the group for real.
1983: At the beginning of the year the Offbeats played
their first show with Larry "Bud" Wright and Chris Justus
on drums and guitar, respectively. Bud and Chris were
about the most polite, nice guys I had ever met. Bud
used to thank me constantly for inviting him to join
the band. We played many local shows around this time,
mostly at the Lakefront and Pop Shop. We also got a
big deal gig opening for the DEAD KENNEDYS at the Engineer's
Hall in downtown Cleveland (current site of the Marriott
Hotel). 1200 people came out of the woodwork for this.
Jello himself requested us, along with THE DARK and
POSITIVE VIOLENCE. Giving the opening slots to whatever
hardcore acts they liked was the DK's policy on tours--their
way of "keeping it real" with the local scenes, I guess.
Around this time we recorded a bunch of songs at a studio
called "The Island." Most ended up on the Offbeats first
piece of vinyl, WHY DO YOU HANG OUT? Some people have
told me over the years that they think this is the best
thing we ever did. I think they're out of they're fucking
minds. To me the sound quality is truly crappy, as is
my "singing." Personally I think the highlight of the
record is Scott's "1, 2, 3, 4!" belch at the start.
I also like his song "Who the Fuck Do You Think You
Are?" (about the Zero Defex, I believe--inspired by
that skinhead haircut?) "Maybe" is also OK as a song,
although I'm not particularly fond of this rendition.
In this version of the band I was doing virtually all
the lead vocals. I missed having another singer, so
before the EP came out I decided to replace Chris with
my friend Doug Enkler. He had just returned from college,
where he had played in a cool band called ONE MAN'S
HEAD. He wrote really great songs and could sing better
than me. Yes, telling Chris he was out was really hard,
but--like a jerk--I do it anyway. Probably a better
idea would have been to have just kept Chris AND added
Doug, but I didn't think of it at the time.
Not long after Doug joined we played our first out of
town gig, in Athens, Ohio. During the show Doug got
thrown out of the club for knocking over PA equipment.
I have a tape of the performance that I love, where
you can hear stuff falling over, and the sound guy is
yelling, "Knock one more thing over and I'll break your
head!!!!" Finally he killed the power and Doug (pretty
drunk, I guess) was escorted out. We were then told
we had to finish the show without him, or they wouldn't
pay us the 200 bucks they owed us. Of course we needed
the cash to buy gas (and beer, and pot...) so we had
to do it. In the end we got paid--and somehow we also
skipped town with the opening bands money. Naturally
they bad mouthed us all over town, so we never played
there again.
1984: In the spring we recorded a dozen or so songs
at a 16 track studio. This was supposed to be for our
first LP (never released). 4 songs ended up on I CAN
SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE, our second 7 inch EP (the
title came from the punch line to an old Bill Cosby
joke). One other recording, "Alaska/Society," went onto
the THEY PELTED US WITH ROCKS AND GARBAGE Comp LP. I
still think these are the best recordings we ever made.
Before our new EP was released, Scott quit--the company
he worked for transferred him to Florida. We were, of
course, sorry to see him go, but didn't blame him for
getting a real life. Scott's spot was taken by Carl
Miller (no relation, just another good friend). I enjoyed
having Carl in the band. Like Scott, he was a pretty
cool guy and he fit in well.
We played NYC for the first time in the fall, at CBGBs.
It was a pretty stupid afternoon all-ages show. The
few people there largely ignored us. NY was always the
worst place to play, in my opinion. Around this time
I think we played Pittsburgh too--at a fucking dump
called "The Electric Banana." We did pretty good there,
if I remember right. We always did better in less "hip"
markets (since we were never hip).
1985: I got a crazy notion in my head--I guess we all
did--that we should "get serious" and sign to a real
record label. To that end, we recorded a demo tape of
new material, slightly more "rock 'n roll" than our
previous thrash outings. Then we remixed it...and remixed
it again....and again, never really getting it right.
I'm sure we all had a swell time playing shows during
this period (one major gig: opening for the DEAD KENNEDYS--again),
but what I remember most about 1985 is recording, making
press kits (hard to do when the press largely ignores
you), and sending out demo tapes. In lieu of a record
contract, we also made plans for our 3rd single, OUT
OF BREATH b/w DON'T TAKE MY ADVICE.
1986: Early in the year, after many mailings of second
generation demo cassettes, a guy named Michael Crumper
called back. He was from RELATIVITY RECORDS in New York
City. He loved our songs. So did the president of the
label, supposedly. No, they'd never seen us play, but
they offered to send us a record contract. I didn't
really believe it...no one could be THAT stupid--but
they actually did it. Holy shit! Of course it was a
terrible contract--a 5 LP option with a really lousy
royalty rate and a $10,000 advance that we had to pay
back out of OUR percentage--but there was never any
question in my mind that we would sign it...and we did.
Shortly after inking the deal we were told to find a
producer and re-record the album. Somehow Tony Maimone
of PERE UBU was lined up for the job. Then we heard
he didn't know anything about producing, so he was out,
replaced with Brian Sands. Brian--now this guy was a
real character. To put in bluntly, he was a total drunk.
Also a fucking nut. I liked him immediately. I guess
he'd recorded a bunch of stuff in the late 60's and
early 70's, pre-punk Cleveland underground rock. What
we needed was someone to keep our own drunken bad ideas
in check. What we got was a guy who was arguably worse
than us! In Brian's defense, he was a blast to record
with. Perhaps Brian was lousy at mixing a song, but
he was really good at mixing gin and tonics.
Before long we found ourselves at Suma Recording, spending
about 5 grand of Relativity's dough. Unfortunately,
once the hangover wore off we realized what we had was
a tape worse than our original demo! Yeah, we fucked
up--but part of the blame, I believe, also belongs on
Paul Hamman's shoulders. As the engineer at Suma, you'd
think the guy would have pulled ONE of us aside and
said, "this recording sucks," but no, he let us proceed
without a peep.
Once we sent the tape to Relativity they hit the roof.
At this point they should have done themselves (and
us, in the end) a favor and booted us out the door.
What they DID was fly a guy named Randy Burns out from
LA to do a salvage job on the tape. His claim to fame
was engineering a MEGADEATH LP. He took one listen and
convinced us to re-record the whole thing FOR THE THIRD
TIME--and we only had 3 days to do it before he flew
back to California! What a mistake! Salvaging the original
tape would have made for a WAY more interesting record
than the rush job we ended up with. Yes, the sound quality
was arguably better, but the performances were not.
Everything was played way too fast, every song sounded
exactly the same. Bud in particular, was extremely unhappy
about this. Randy was always yelling at him, "hit the
snare drum louder!" I guess this really fucked with
his playing style. However, after 3 sleepless nights,
we finally had a tape (way over budget) that would become
EVOLUTION OF THE STICKMAN, our debut LP.
We ended the year by playing a short but fairly successful
east coast tour (we lost less money than usual). We
also released the OUT OF BREATH single on St. Valentine
Records as a "teaser" for the album.
1987: What should have been our crowning achievement--a
soon to be released LP on a major independent label,
instead marked the beginning of the end for the band.
The previous year's recording process had created a
lot of tensions. I think we were all basically sick
of each other at this point. Going on several short
out of town "tours," we would often get on each other's
nerves.
Our record was released on April 1st. April Fool's Day.
Very fitting. To begin with, we hated the cover, thought
it was a piece of fucking shit. It was basically forced
upon us by Relativity. We also had some personality
conflicts with them. We thought they were uptight and
pretentious. We countered this with REALLY obnoxious
behavior. An example--we played a showcase for the label
in NYC. Earlier that day Doug and I were razing Crumper
about...I don't even want to get into the details, actually.
Just stupid shit, basically being obnoxious and getting
on his nerves, which was easy to do. Real smart thing
to do to the guy who had just signed us! At the show
I sort of laid off of him, but Doug kept it up, making
fun of him rather mercilessly for about 2 hours. This
did not exactly endear us to the record label, but to
be fair to Doug, I had egged on a lot of it earlier
in the day. Luckily we redeemed ourselves a bit by playing
a wild show. I remember Doug spent a good portion of
our performance laying on his back on the stage, incredibly
drunk but still rocking out. Relativity loved this--or
so they said. I guess in their eyes we were being the
goofy, nutty drunks that the early Replacements usually
were. Crumper loved the Replacements. He had some far-out
delusion we would become Relativity's version of that
band. Yes, he actually told me this. What a laugh.
In July, Bud quit the band very suddenly. Unfortunately
it was not a very amiable parting of the ways. I was
really sick of booking out of town shows, so when the
LEMONHEADS offered to set up a joint tour, I jumped
on it. The catch: they do the booking, we supply the
musical gear. Bud had a major problem with letting them
play his drums. There was no talking him into it. Basically
he handed us an ultimatum: either him or the tour. We
choose the tour, so he quit. Realistically though, if
Bud was upset we didn't choose him, he also had to have
been relieved to be done with our rotten tours. At any
rate, we recruited Regan "Sly" Sylvestri as drummer,
the last personnel change we would ever make. He managed
to learn our set in a week.
The first show of the tour was in Cleveland (naturally),
where we met the Lemonheads for the first time. I went
up to Evan Dando and the bass player: "Hi, I'm Tom.
Have a good trip out here?" "BITCHIN!!!" "So...we're
thinkin' you guys might want to play last tonight...."
"RAD!!!!" Did you check out my guitar amp? Think it'll
work for you? "BITCHIN!!!" The Lemonheads circa 1987
were about two months removed from 12th grade. Like
us, their first LP had just been released on an independent
label. Evan was not yet the seasoned rock star pro he
currently is. Trying to engage the band in conversation
resulted in little more than exclamations of "BITCHINRADRADBITCHIN!!!!!"
I couldn't take it. I had nothing against them, just
little in common. Although I was still in my twenties,
they made me feel old. After the first few nights we
gave up trying to hang out with them and basically steered
clear as much as possible.
I can't remember too many details about the actual shows.
I do remember the Lemonheads generally going over better
than us. They were young, cute and played nice pop/punk
songs. We were not as young, not as cute and I guess
our songs were not as nice, either. The major problem
we had was NO PROMOTION. No posters at the clubs, no
records in the stores, no ads in any magazines. What
the fuck? Where the hell was Relativity?
In Minneapolis we ran into a girl named Kat on the street.
She was forming a band with her roommate, who played
drums. They were gracious enough to give us a place
to stay and in return we kept them up all night drinking
and cracking jokes. Kat played her demo tape for us.
I remember not being real impressed. Actually, I thought
it sucked. Over the years I've found myself to be utterly
clueless about what other people might like. This incident
is a prime example--the band she formed was called BABES
IN TOYLAND. Like the Lemonheads, they were soon light
years ahead of any band I was ever in, popularity-wise.
When we got to our show at Maxwell's in Hoboken we found
out what had "happened" to Relativity. It seems all
the people who had signed us either quit or were fired.
The new people had nothing to do with signing us, so
therefore they were not interested in us. I can't believe
they even showed up for the gig. We tried to talk to
them before the show and they all but yawned in our
faces. Their disinterest in us was all too clear. I
don't even know if they bothered to stay and watch us
play.
By this point we were all rather cynical and jaded about
this whole Offbeats thing. All of us, that is, except
Regan. He seemed truly happy to be in the band, being
the fresh new guy. One night we stopped at his parents
house on our way through Connecticut. He amazed us all
by telling his folks that he was "thinking of turning
that scholarship to Yale down...in order to play with
the Offbeats." BAD idea, Regan.
Our last show with the Lemonheads was in Boston. They
were home. We, on the other hand, were fucked. We had
5 more shows left that I had booked independently: Syracuse,
Philadelphia, Washington DC, somewhere in Virginia and
somewhere else in North Carolina. About 5 miles out
of Cambridge we suddenly lost all oil pressure. Our
friend Jim Smagola was on the tour with us as roadie/fix-it
guy. Yes, he knew engines...and what he knew was that
our oil pump was blown...oh, and guess what? Replacing
it entailed unbolting the engine mounts and jacking
up the entire engine block! To their credit, Jim and
Carl were determined to fix our wounded vehicle on the
spot. They actually tried to lift the engine with the
tire jack...and they almost succeeded. It was a Herculean
effort, but one that came up just slightly short. Exhausted,
they finally packed it in shortly before dawn, promptly
falling asleep. In the early morning light Doug and
I finished the last of the beers and walked to a pay
phone to call a tow truck. 5 days and 500 dollars later
we were on our way home. The van was fixed but we were
now in debt and had missed every one of our remaining
shows.
Our last ever gig was about a week later. We played
with STARVATION ARMY at Cedar's in Youngstown. I don't
remember much about the show except that the crowd was
sparse, it being a weeknight. On the way home I got
pulled over for speeding. After the state patrolman
had handed me my ticket and we were back on the road,
Doug announced, "I've had it. I can't take it anymore.
I quit." That was all there was to it. None of us tried
very hard to talk him out of it, as I recall. No one
brought up the idea of continuing the group, either.
About a month later I got a notice from Relativity in
the mail. Our contract was terminated.
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